A proposal, and a posthumous wedding
ON an uncharacteristically hot Tuesday morning in a summer blessed with generous rainfall, as Yours Truly set off on the short drive to work, on a whim I decided to take an alternative route.
Little did I know that the detour would lead to a story worth telling.
Just around the bend on my street, three elderly women waved me down, asking for a lift to the main road where they hoped to catch a taxi to the mall.
As a devout Christian who believes in lending a helping hand, I slammed on the brakes.
Once they were safely buckled in and we had exchanged pleasantries, the granny in the front passenger seat turned to me and said, quite matter-of-factly, “I want you to write my story, to encourage women and Batswana at large.”
We had barely gone 100 metres and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the timing.
It could not be happenstance because for us believers, we know the book of Proverbs chapter 19 verse 21 declares: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
I asked her if she was a Christian, she excitedly replied in the affirmative and I shared that I, too, was a believer, and that I knew, without a doubt, that God had placed her directly in my path.
All weekend, I had been brainstorming ideas for an uplifting story to end the year. The positive piece I had hoped to publish had fallen through. As I often do in moments like these, I turned to God and asked Him to lead me to the right person to feature in our Christmas issue.
Now, here was that Godsent, quite literally sitting beside me.
And so, dear reader, what follows is her story; a story of love, patience, faith and grace – one I hope will warm your heart over the holidays…
Betha T Matheo’s tale starts back in 1980, when, at the tender age of 22, she met and fell deeply in love with a man almost ten years her senior.
“By April 1981, we were blessed with twins. But there was no mention of marriage. Years went by, and I wondered why he never asked for my hand in marriage. I yearned to have more children within the security of a stable union. In due course, I became a Christian and prayed to God to find out what was standing in our way; I surrendered all to Him.”
She describes the father of her girls – now accomplished women and mothers in their own right – as a good man from a close-knit, respectable family.
“His hesitation to formalise our union puzzled everyone. Our parents met at one point, but somehow the process never moved forward. It was as though something invisible blocked it,” she remembers, adding, “We lived as husband and wife in every sense, planned a future together, and even ventured into business before he retired from public service. He devoted himself fully to our trucking enterprise and worked tirelessly to provide for his family.”
For 45 happy years, and with their parents long gone, Matheo’s desire to become a wife never faded, even though she never felt less than other women who were legally married.
“My husband honoured me completely. Our life together was peaceful, more peaceful than some lawful marriages. Our families rarely interfered, and I cared for him as a wife would her husband.”
Last year, her beloved partner fell ill.
During that difficult period, he revisited the idea of marriage, even though his condition continued to worsen. Then came Monday 7 th July, 2025.
“That morning, during what I thought was a routine hospital visit, he finally proposed and we exchanged rings. When his elder brother was informed, arrangements were immediately made for a marriage officer to solemnise our marriage,” she says, emotion softening her voice.
But God had other plans.
“Unfortunately, that same night, at 2300hrs, he went to be with the Lord. Though our hearts were broken, we found comfort in knowing he had fulfilled my long-held wish to be his wife,” Matheo says, her voice tinged with both sorrow and joy.
To honour that wish, she placed the ring back on his finger at the mortuary as he was prepared for burial.
“I thanked God,” she recalls, glancing at her ring as if to relive the bitter-sweet moment.
Last week, with Matheo having observed three months of mourning, united by both grief and their love for their deceased relative, her new in-laws moved swiftly to ensure their brother’s estate would be transferred to his wife.
“When the mourning period ended, our families approached the customary court. Even the kgosi was astonished. He said he had never witnessed such a peaceful and progressive process in his lifetime and wished many Batswana could see what was happening,” Matheo reveals with gratitude.
Her daughters, too, were understandably overjoyed.
“They always considered me their father’s beloved wife,” she says.
“My husband’s immediate brother went further and paid magadi of eight cattle. He declared, ‘Ke ntshetsa nkgonne magadi,’ and the patlo and kgoroso ceremonies followed. It was a complete and dignified occasion. I thank God for this blessing and for my in-laws.”
The 67-year-old describes her story as a testament to God’s perfect plan and the sovereignty of His will.
“I prayed for years, and at last my prayers have been answered,” she says.
“Many spouses face persecution from their in-laws. That is wrong; people must abandon selfishness and entitlement. Stop denying your siblings’ children what is rightfully theirs, as you would not accept such treatment if the tables were turned. We should learn from my in-law’s generosity and respect. Peace prevailed in both Ramotswa and Serowe, including Extension 5, where a luncheon was held at my sister-in-law’s home. I pray that Batswana learn to trust in God’s timing and providence…” she pauses, then cites the scripture that sustained her through decades of waiting.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8–9
