*Loveless marriage turns to bitter court battle as husband marries mistress!'”
Married at the tender age of 11 through an arranged traditional marriage, Mosadimotho Ditshameko, now 54, says she has never truly enjoyed the full affection of her husband, Ditshameko Makgetho, 60.
Appearing before Maun Customary Court on Tuesday, Mosadimotho, feeling used and dejected, shared her distress over her husband’s recent actions.
Ditshameko, who works as a Security Officer, has turned his back on her and married a second wife without considering her feelings.
“He has married the mother of his other children, the woman he says is the love of his life,” explained Mosadimotho, who dragged her husband to court to clarify his intentions regarding their marriage.
She informed the court that her husband married a second wife through a traditional wedding in their home village of Eretsha about two weeks ago.
“I want to know where this leaves me. Now that he has married another woman, where do I stand in his life, between me and the other woman?” asked the clearly troubled Mosadimotho.
Mosadimotho was introduced to her husband in 1981 by both their parents, who gave them consent to treat each other as spouses.
Despite their youth, they started indulging in intimacy, and a year later, in 1982, she had her first child.
“Our parents introduced us in 1981 and made it clear that we were husband and wife, but we were not lovers at the time. In 1986, he paid the bride price (bogadi), and a traditional ceremony was held at our home in Eretsha, after which I was taken to his home as a bride,” Mosadimotho explained.
Her bride price included four goats and P40 for the farewell (phutha-dikobo) ceremony.
Mosadimotho said she was content in her loveless marriage until about two weeks ago when she received calls from people in Eretsha village informing her that her husband was getting married to his mistress.
“We rushed to the kgotla in an attempt to stop the wedding, but despite an objection letter being emailed to Eretsha, the marriage took place anyway. I tried to talk to his parents about it, and I was told that my marriage took place at home and not in offices like the current one. I was basically told to shut up,” she recounted.
She added, “Just recently, he started talking about his love for his mistress, whom he has children with, and that he wants to marry her. But I reminded him that he never completed the traditional marriage as he was yet to ascertain my status as his first wife (go tlhomamisa), but he ignored me, hence I am here to get answers.”
Adding to her distress, Mosadimotho is concerned that her husband has married the other woman in community of property. “My question now that is yet to be answered is, now that he has another wife, to whom do I belong?” she asked.
Despite her husband’s infidelities and fathering children outside wedlock, Mosadimotho has stayed in the marriage, continuing to love him.
“He is a typical male, so I never really bothered him. Even whenever he leaves the house, I know he will return at his own time. I knew the other woman was his mistress, but I was not jealous about it because I understood he had to take care of her and the children. But I was not expecting the affair to develop into marriage!” she expressed during a brief interview outside court.
When it was his turn to cross-examine the wife’s testimony, Makgetho did not confirm or deny anything but rather requested that the case be referred to Eretsha Customary Court. He argued, “All my parents and witnesses are in Eretsha, so it makes sense for the case to be heard there.”
However, Mosadimotho maintained that she is unlikely to get a fair hearing in Eretsha, citing her husband’s close relationship with the local royals and the fact that her parents have long relocated to Maun.
She insisted, “I have no one to speak on my behalf in Eretsha.”
Nonetheless, Kgosi Leretetse Mogalakwe ruled that the matter be taken to Eretsha, with the hope that another Kgosi from outside Eretsha will preside over the case.
