Husband marries nyatsi as second wife
A 60 year old polygamist who recently married a second wife says he did so partly out of frustration because his wife of many years has been denying him conjugal rights for the past four years.
Defending his decision to take a second wife before Kgosi Leretetse Mogalakwe at Maun Customary court last week Tuesday, Ditshameko Makgetho explained that his first wife, Mosadimotho Ditshameko (54) had long decided to drift away from the marital bed and no longer treats him with love.
“She mentally divorced me a long time ago; she no longer washes my clothes, no longer cooks or serves me food and she denies me conjugal rights, she separated the beds, we no longer sleep in the same bedroom, yet we stay in the same house. That is why I stopped giving her monthly allowance in June and I did not give her any this month, but I will start giving her the money again when things go back to normal. How can I give someone money when I cannot touch her. I buy groceries including food for the house, the very food she would not dish for me,” lamented Makgetho.
The Security Guard, who retires from civil service this coming December was dragged to court by his first and customary law wife, Mosadimotho demanding a change of marriage regime to ccivil in order to affirm her status as the first wife with the issuing of a marriage certificate.
Mosadimotho who expressed fear and insecurity following her husband’s recent marriage wanted him to explain to the court what it means for her to be a customary law wife in a polygamous set up where the second wife is married according to the civil law.
The case turned into counter accusations about who emotionally cut ties with the other spouse first.
Makgetho maintained that Mosadimotho was his wife in good standing whom he paid dowry price of four goats and P40 for back in 1986 when they married, “I was charged two cows or P80 for each.”
According to the wife’s family, Makgetho paid four goats in place of the two cows.
Makgetho maintains that despite all the drama and the second marriage nothing will change between his and Mosadimotho’s marriage, “All the properties we accumulated together belongs to you and our four children, the house in Eretsha, the residential plot in Beetsha, the Bakery and the ploughing field in Eretsha and our home in Maun. All policies that I have written in your names will remain like that, even when I get my retirement package, you will get your rightful share.”
The polygamous man explained that he has been with the second wife for the past 30 years and that he has four other children with her, “Both of you are my wives, I have four children with you and I have four children with her and I love my children equally. The other woman has nothing to do with what you and I have accumulated. She stays at my late father’s place in Eretsha and you have your house also in Eretsha.”
Makgetho further claimed that when he took the decision to take a second wife he consulted Mosadimotho and that she instead refused to listen, “She told me I should not tell her that because she is not my mother. But the truth is I told her and she accompanied me when I went shopping for the suit which I was to wear at the traditional wedding. I even gave her money for transport so she can come to the wedding.”
The couple married when they were both relatively young, Mosadimotho was aged 11 in 1981 when he was introduced to Makgetho by the elders as his wife. Makgetho was only 17 years old. In 1982 they had their first child.
In 1993 the couple relocated to Maun in search of greener pastures. “She no longer wants to go to Eretsha, she abandoned our home there, she only wants to stay in Maun. We used to run a bakery back in Eretsha but she abandoned it and the building is getting dilapidated, the furniture in the house is being eaten away by termites.”
Mosadimotho admitted that she denies her husband conjugal rights but she said she is doing so to protect herself “from harm and ill health,” because he is sleeping with another woman, “He obviously found me lacking in some ways hence he found another woman!”
She further stated that Makgetho was misleading court when he said he gives her monthly spouse allowance, “He is saying so to appear good before the Chief, he does not give me money.”
However the court ruled that the two must maintain their marriage and that Makgetho must continue to love his wife and provide for her the same way he did before taking the second wife.
He is to give the wife at least P1400 monthly allowance for the rest of his working days and not bring the other woman to encroach into the first wife’s property.
