…A happy mother’s story
Almost two decades into a faithful yet fruitless marriage, Mmabatho Moreri began to accept that God might have a divine assignment for her.
Indeed the all-knowing Creator did, as elsewhere, a little lad, the youngest resident of the SOS Children’s Village, awaited the fulfillment of ultimately every woman’s life purpose: to share the purest form of love.
In celebration of Mother’s Day this year, the nurturing Moreri shares with Voice Woman intimate details of her journey to becoming a first-time mum.
The Kanye-born Moreri and her husband of 18 years had been trying for a baby, even in the first decade of dating.
“One day, I felt that it was about time I try other options. I thought to myself that there were kids out there who needed a loving home and caring parents, and since I am one person who loves unconditionally. I had long registered for adoption, way before we were joined in holy matrimony. In that time, I used to visit SOS and Childline, and whenever I saw street kids, I felt they needed a second chance in life. These weren’t easy thoughts as I wondered whether my husband would agree. I just wanted to give someone all this love that I have but sometimes God delays to answer prayers because there’s an assignment He wants you to fulfill.”
According to Moreri, the entire process was fairly quick.
“I’d checked with those in the know about requirements and related matters; everyone made it seem like it was an arduous process. However, for us, it was smooth sailing. You know, when you put God first, ‘all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28)! I mean, I was prepared mentally and emotionally and it took only two years to process my application; which was worthwhile because it prepares you as a person to fully confirm that you want to go ahead with it,” she says and adds that they were made aware of the circumstances around the child’s birth “because it is best to know what happened… to enable us to understand the likely recurrence of trauma associated with any experiences of the child; so that you are able to raise the child well, which works best for parents and child.”
The middle-aged mother had first sought counsel from immediate family.
“My husband and my mother were my greatest pillars. My lovely mum sat me down to ask if I was really certain I wanted to adopt and addressed potential challenges. I listened to all that and because I put God first in all I do, I knew to rely on Him to guide me. My husband was truly supportive, that boy is the apple of his eye; he protects him with his very being and wants to give him the best life. During our first visit to the orphanage, the tiny toddler came and leaned against a chair I was sitting on. His big eyes were locked on me and, moments later, he sat on my lap, then warmly wrapped his little arm around me. I was given a chance to bath him and, as I dressed him, he fell asleep in my arms. I felt the baby had been waiting for me all along.”
The visits would continue until they moved to fostering, and once fostering began, the authorities would randomly visit to the Moreris’ home.
“The social worker that was assisting us was quite agreeable and humane. She accompanied us everywhere and was by our side throughout, even at the magistrates’ court. Often, couples waiting to adopt may find the process exhausting or feel that social workers invade their privacy as they can just visit unannounced, but I appreciated that since they also assessed our helpers. They can spend the entire day with the adoptive couple or family to investigate whether the environment will be conducive to raise a child; whether your helper is fit to care for the child. I had a foreign maid, whom the social workers did not approve of. They’ll guide you and it’s all in the best interests of the child. I never had any issues with all of that; I felt it was my time.”
Was there ever a time the affectionate mum was tempted to change her mind? “Never. When I first received the call to go see the baby, my heart jumped, joy came into my life. One thing I remember is that whenever we parted ways, I’d have sleepless nights, crying, and it saddened my husband. Taking the kid back to the orphanage after spending a weekend with him was the most painful experience but I found consolation in that I left him in the care of good people.”
Moreri’s boy is now seven years old and she says she hasn’t given any thought to when and how she will tell her son that she is not his biological mother.
“I haven’t thought about it because you should see how proudly he introduces me to everyone at his school whenever I go to pick him up. My entire family received this boy warmly so I have yet to figure out how and when I’ll tell him. I have all the documentation kept safely that, should he want to know, I feel I’ll be ready. He is very possessive of me and very inquisitive and intelligent. Both my family and in-laws love him and have accepted him completely. We are a tight-knit family.”
To those considering adoption, Moreri has this simple advice: “Be sure about what you yearn for and be open during assessment as the process is designed to help you, too.
You will realise that child is a blessing.
Motherhood changed my life.
Being someone’s mother, or being entrusted with a life, is an enjoyable privilege and favour.
Every day after work, I look forward to going home to my beautiful bundle of joy. Let’s give these children all the love they need to thrive and guide them well, especially in these times.
I was intentional about raising this boy in the Lord; to know that God is our Father, the way, the truth and the life.
‘Children are a heritage from the Lord,’ (Psalm 127:3). Yes, I’m his mother, but God is above me,” she says and adds that she can do it again given the chance “because it is not good for children to grow up in orphanages as it limits their potential.”
The small family is excitedly looking forward to celebrating Mother’s Day this year.
“My son promised to buy mummy a red dress, cake and give me a big hug. In turn, I promised to take him and his daddy out to dinner.”
*Not her real name…
Adoption of Children (Family Related Cases)
Individuals and families interested in adopting children in Botswana must submit a written application to the Civil Registry at the Magistrate’s court.
Who is eligible?
Per the Adoption of Children’s Act (Cap 28:01):
A prospective parent must be at least be twenty five (25) years of age in order to proceed with the adoption of a child. In addition
A husband and his wife jointly.
A widower or widow or unmarried or divorced person.
A married person who is separated from his or her spouse by judicial decree.
A child of sixteen (16) years of age can only be adopted by parents who are at least twenty five (25) years older than that child.
A married person whose spouse, as at the time of the adoption, has been suffering from mental illness for a continuous period of more than seven years immediately preceding that time.
A person cannot adopt a child twenty five (25) years younger than their own selves unless the child is of the same sex as the adoptive parent.
For more information, visit the Ministry of Nationality, Immigration and Gender Affairs: 3611115/3611234/3611132,
[Source: mnig-pro@.gov.bw]
