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Ask Gase


I have been living with this guy for 5years my problem is when I do something he compares me with his late wife like when we talk or do anything in house he will tell me that his late wife was not doing it in that way but I told him that we are not same and will never be the same it’s affecting me a lot what shall I do to change the situation?


It is not a good feeling at all for a woman to be compared with an ex or to a late spouse by her partner. It is discouraging and demoralizing. Please tell him that and ask him to stop it because it is a hurtful thing to do. Perhaps he did not give himself enough time to grieve for his late wife; if he continues to compare you with his late wife despite your pleas not to, then maybe he has not healed or has not fully accepted his loss, in which case he needs to seek counseling if at all he still values your presence in his life. Unless he sees this from your point of view and takes the necessary steps to address the issue it will always pose a threat to your relationship. You can talk to a counselor as a couple so that you can support each other. When you’re both ready to talk to a counselor please call Heart & Hands of Compassion on 73516022 for telephone counseling or to make an appointment for face-to-face counseling or call New Perspectives on 73888898 for Relationship counseling.

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