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Agony of a boy with an absent father

AUTHOR: Evangelist Diteko


Trauma of growing up without a father has compelled Lopang Diteko, a 28 -year -old Evangelist of The Voice of Hope international church in Maun to chronicle his own life events in a book.

The young preacher has written an autobiography on forgiveness, titled “Chainless Prison.”

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To avoid the sins of the father the young man has also taken a decision to remain celibate and childless until he meets and marries a godly woman.

“I do not want to follow my biological father’s path. I know the pain of growing up with an absent father and I do not wish that upon anyone and hence I will never father a child outside wedlock because I want to always be there for my wife and children, be able to support them and give them the love that a father ought to give, so I am waiting upon the Lord in that regard,” explained Diteko in an interview this week.

But he is certain that God will deliver the woman to him because in his “prophetic dream” God showed him a baby boy whom he says he will call Isaac.

“I know I will have a baby called Isaac, what the Lord has not shown me however is the mother of the boy,” Diteko added.

Ditto was talking ahead of the launch of the book, scheduled for next month in Maun.

“The Main purpose of the book is to teach people about forgiveness because as long as we hold on to the past we cannot see God, we can’t experience the now and the future. Experience is a good teacher,” said Diteko.

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Born third child of six in Maun to a single mother, Diteko says it was hard although he knows many other children who grew under the care of a single parent.

“It is almost like normal in our country because majority of households are run by single parents and mostly women, but it is not right and we need to correct that,” he further stated.

What makes it worse he says is that some of the parents would keep secret the identity of the absent parent and when the child enquires, they would be told that to ask is to insult their parents.

Diteko said he grew up as an angry boy and he had lot of fear and anxiety which was caused by trauma of growing up without fatherly love.

In fact he said he blamed himself for his mother’s suffering because he thought his existence brought her misery.

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It was only until 2013 that he found his father. The discovery he said filled him with renewed anger and bitterness.

“My mother was not happy about it at all. She scolded me for it, but I only wanted to know who I am and part of the reason I was so afraid to date any girl was because my identity was hidden from me. The likelihood of ending up with my sister was a nightmare.”

He said he travelled to his father’s village only to discover that all these years the man was a well to do royal without a care about the child he long abandoned in Maun, “It made me very angry because evidently, all these years when we were suffering, he was living large at his royal home.”

But having turned to God, he says he ultimately forgave his father and they are now on talking terms.

“The moment I forgave my father, my heart was freed, I found joy and happiness, things started to change, my spiritual life became clean, I made peace with my father and peace came into my life. I started functioning like an ordinary being and experienced breakthrough in many aspects of my life,” he said.

He then decided to share his life experiences as a way of encouraging others and letting them know about the power of forgiveness.

“I know I am not the only one who was raised by a single parent and I believe when I write the book it can inspire others, that they can excel and do well in life despite their background. All of us need the support of our parents, but we can also choose not to be like them and write our own path and chapters.”

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