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Wizard of Odd

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Wizard of Odd
WET: the dog, and the idea

We are not in Kansas anymore

Are you confused?

Yeah, me too, but probably not about the same things.

That headline is a take-off on the classic film, The Wizard of Oz, which tells the dream like story of a teenage girl and her dog who get swept up by a tornado in Kansas, USA, and then dumped in the seemingly wonderful land of Oz.

The opening line of this column is what Dorothy says to her dog when she realises they are a long, long way from home.

Everything seems very modern, but it soon becomes obvious Oz is more weird than wonderful, and Dorothy spends most of the film trying to get back to the sanity of Kansas.

The saying: We are not in Kansas anymore, means: the world has gone crazy.

The reason I’m giving you this film history is that I recently saw an advert over here in England where I now live, that made me feel a bit like that.

In my case, however, the thought was, ‘I’m not in Botswana anymore,’ but the meaning was the same.

Or maybe what I felt was, ‘Things around here are really going to the dogs.’

The advert was for a pet fitness and rehabilitation centre where dog owners can take their pets for a swim.

I think the pool was set-up to help animals recover from injuries and operations, but this advert was trying to get people to bring their healthy pets to the centre for, ‘a fun-swim.’

According to the pitch, “A 15-minute swim is equivalent to an hour’s run around the park, which makes it ideal for hot or rainy days or as an additional activity. At the end of the session, the pets enjoy a special shower and a spell under the dryer so they leave all spruced up.”

When I called the centre, I discovered you can’t book a 15-minute session. The shortest one is 40-minutes and it costs P350.

The woman I spoke with said they have lifejackets for dogs that can’t swim and that the service is becoming quite popular.

I find it very odd that people pay for things like that, although I imagine similar things happen in Kansas these days.

Hopefully, pet owners in Botswana will never get swept up by this modern form of insanity.

A midwestern dog owner took his pet to a clinic in Kansas.

When the vet determined the animal was terminally ill and there was nothing he could do for him, the man demanded a second opinion.

“Okay,” said the vet, and he went out of the room. He soon returned with a kitten that climbed on top of the ill dog, looked him over, and then shook her head.

Still unconvinced, the man asked for another opinion.

This time the vet fetched a Labrador retriever who spent a fair bit of time sniffing the other dog and then he too shook his head.

Right, said the pet owner, I guess that’s it. How much do I owe you?

“Five-hundred dollars,” replied the vet”

“Wow, that’s a lot for a simple examination.”

“The exam was only $50,” said the vet, “the rest was for the cat scan and the lab test.”