As you all know this column was not created for me but rather for the youth at large so whenever I get feedback from you guys about a previous article I wrote, we publish it so as to share the thoughts and the varying advice.
I recently received a message on Facebook from a loyal reader of this column sharing a serious problem that he has in his relationship. Now this guy said he recently found out that his girlfriend cheated on him and this has put him under a lot of stress.
The guy also stated that he himself has cheated on the girlfriend a number of times and the girl kept on forgiving him but he finds it really difficult to forgive her even though she has only done it once. So basically this guy was asking for advice as to what to do and how to do it in order for him to find it in his heart to forgive the girlfriend.
You see I personally have noticed something really intriguing about cheating. I have realized that when a guy cheats, he cheats just for fun of it and just to pass time and maybe because of the attraction that he has for the other girl. But with ladies, it’s a different story, when we cheat, it’s usually an emotional thing and this can cause great damage in the relationship as compared to a guy cheating.
So what I decided to do was to do a bit of research on why ladies cheat and maybe once the guy who sent me the email learns this, then he might just be able to deal with the issue at hand.
If your wife or girlfriend has self-esteem issues, it doesn’t mean she’s automatically going to cheat and it’s certainly not your fault if she does , but there are ways to make her feel secure in the relationship. Pay attention to her, ask her questions and don’t hold back on compliments a little flattery goes a long way with women.
1. REVENGE FOR PAST WRONGINGS
She feels wounded and betrayed and wants to hurt you the same way you hurt her. To regain her trust, it’s not enough just to tell her you’re sorry; you have to show her. Actions speak louder than words.
2. LACK OF INTIMACY
One thing women want most is intimacy. It’s not just sex that makes women feel connected in a relationship; it’s touching, kissing, cuddling, and communicating. Women crave it, and she could seek it elsewhere if she’s not getting it at home. To improve intimacy, spend quality time together, give her a foot massage, make a romantic dinner for two, anything that will give her a sense of unity and closeness.
3. FEELING NEGLECTED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED
It’s simple, if your girl feels neglected this gives her double reason to seek attention elsewhere. Make time for her and show her that you appreciate her.
4. EMOTIONAL WITHDRAWAL
Women are emotional beings. Not only do they need physical support, but they also need emotional support. Once you retreat from the relationship, she sees it as a sign that things are through and a breakup is inevitable. So, she’s not really cheating, she’s moving on. To avoid this, be present in the relationship. Yes, that means sharing your icky feelings.