Last week’s article had a lot of people talking which I appreciate of course.
I had lots of messages on facebook regarding the article and a lot of people commenting on the “Youth Affair” show on Yarona FM. And I do hope that the tips on the previous column helped the guy who emailed me and that he has found it somewhere in his heart to forgive the girlfriend for cheating on him.
A male friend told me that one of the reasons why guys find it so difficult to forgive their girlfriend when they’ve cheated and much easier for ladies to forgive their guys when they’ve done so is simply because guys are very visual as compared to women.
When a girl cheats, the boyfriend visualizes what the girl was doing with the other guy so the image and thought of it haunts them to the core. They just can’t help but think of what the other guy might have done with their girlfriend to the last detail, now this makes things worse according to this friend of mine. And yeah, I still stand by what I said last week, men usually cheat just for more sex while women cheat to fill an emotional hole they have.
So this week I decided to share with you the remaining reasons as to why women cheat and of course the comments I got from the readers and on Facebook.
6. EXIT STRATEGY
Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesn’t have to deal with the broken relationship, which is much harder to fix. An affair is the easy way out or at least that’s how she sees it. That’s another reason communication is key. Let her know that she can talk to you about anything and that you love her enough to work through any bumps in the relationship road.
7. HER CHEATING HEART
When you add up all the reasons women cheat, it’s usually her heart (or her ego) that needs healing. Keep the lines of communication open, be supportive and encouraging and work at keeping that spark ignited. In other words: Don’t give her a reason to stray.
Now this one is for the older youth…
9. NOT ENOUGH SEX
Women want to feel wanted. If you’re not making her feel that way, she could seek it elsewhere. To keep that spark alive, ask her out on date nights, send her provocative texts at lunch, and by all means, don’t let life get in the way of kissing, cuddling and sex (that is if you are sexually active, if not, keep it that way for a while) .
And these were some of the comments I got on Facebook:
Alec Ali Sebotso: Men can have sex anytime, even after having sex with their partner.
Cameron Cammy Chidzani: Men cheat because of sex motivations. A man can run after a lady as if he wants to marry her but after sex, he abandons her.
King Jablas: Sometimes it is not all about sex, sometimes the men don’t feel the love from their partner but fearing to break up with the lady.
King Potter Bolotsang: So as much as the drive is natural to both genders we cannot therefore justify men’s lack of control with that reason. At least we could excuse men’s infidelity with the fact that their emotions have always been discarded, fixating them to a young age of egocentricity (which is why they cheat) then making them less sensitive.
Lesego Ntwaagae: Men can only cheat because of emotional abuse so it is not easy for a man to tell his partner that she abuses him emotional so they prefer to go around ladies and search for good love.