My girlfriend of 6 years recently started a fitness routine at a local aerobics club, she then started to change, developed a bad attitude towards me, flirting with the guys at the club and lying to me and faking family emergencies to cancel our plans so that she can go to the club.
Basically she does not have time for me anymore since she travels a lot with club doing competitions where she takes photos with guys in somewhat rather unpleasant positions that I find disrespectful to our relationship.
I tried to talk to her about this but it seems like I just can’t get through to her. Please help me because I do not want to lose her and do not want to be in a miserable relationship at the same time.
During our 6 years in the relationship, we have managed to successfully handle disagreements and fight but I’m afraid the gym issue will split us.
I’m sorry to have to tell you that if you’ve tried to talk to her but she still doesn’t want to accept that this problem is serious and has the potential to break up your relationship, then she’s certainly aware of the damage she’s causing and probably doesn’t care.
Contrary to what flirts would have us believe, there’s no such thing as harmless flirting. It’s even worse that she has developed a bad attitude towards you, lies to you and has resorted to faking family emergencies just so she can go the club.
She knows very well that if it was the other way round, she’d be very hurt if you did that to her; so, it’s not like she’s unaware of the misery she’s causing you.
Even churches have become hunting ground for adulterous relationships and all kinds of undesirable liaisons, let alone informal and social gathering places like the gym.
If your girlfriend no longer has time for you because she’s always travelling for club competitions, flirts with the guys at her aerobics club and poses for pictures with them in ways that make you uncomfortable and which you find disrespectful to your relationship, then there’s certainly more to her gym membership that just a fitness routine.
You need to sit her down so that the two of you can re-evaluate your relationship.
Talk to her again about her attitude and behavior; tell her that you do not want to lose her, but cannot resign yourself to a miserable life.
Ask her if she still loves you and wants you in her life; if she does, she needs to act like it…and if she doesn’t, she must be honest about it and not waste your time on a one-sided relationship.
Should nothing change after that, and should you still feel you need to do something to save your relationship, I suggest you then seek counseling as a couple.
New Perspectives offer relationship counseling and will be able to help you solve your problem if you cannot do it on your own; you can reach them on 73888898.