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Marriage wrecking a concern

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Marriage wrecking a concern
Black Gabathuse

Marriage wrecking cases have become a depressingly common occurrence in modern day Botswana.

Promiscuous husbands are regularly caught with young mistresses, bored wives frequently discovered in bed with toy boys and blessors.

Every week, courts across the land hand out massive fines to those found guilty of marriage wrecking. Despite the financial deterrent, the problem continues to grow.

On Wednesday, Voice reporter CHRISTINAH MOTLHABANE took to the streets of Francistown to talk about the possible causes of marriage wrecking and what the second city’s residents think can be done to stop it.

CHAWADA PHILLIME, 38, MATENGE VILLAGE

Marriage wrecking a concern
Chawada Phillime

If a husband or wife leaves their spouse home to look for a mistress it means something at home is not satisfying them.

When a man is not taking care of his family, the wife often decides to find another lover who can help her with some money.

Truly speaking there is no love, people marry so that their children can grow under one roof.

Some men are disrespectful to their wives – they leave them at home whilst they go out clubbing and only return in the morning.

BLACKIE GABATHUSE, 59, MAUNATLALA VILLAGE

Youth of today like money. The love that was there in the past is no longer present.

Today if someone does not have money he is treated like trash. Some marry looking at their spouse’s money – when that cash finishes they do not sit and plan how to make more.

Instead they leave and look for someone else with money.

That is why there are passion killings – when a man learns that a woman left him because they have finished his money he will follow her and kill her!

I wish a husband and wife can accept what they have and be each other’s friend – that way no outsider could possibly destroy their marriage.

The issue of friends is another factor leading to marriage wrecking.

They will advise a married person that he should have other girlfriends outside marriage to avoid boredom and looking at the same person all the time.

Marriage wrecking can be stopped if we revert to the traditional way, where a man may marry many wives – like the zezuruans.

THABANG MOLEELE, 32, MOCHUDI

Marriage wrecking a concern
Thabang Moleele

Youth these days are too concerned with material issues. They do not marry for love but for profit, they want to gain in marriage like it is a business.

Women have a tendency of letting their men have sex with other ladies and then suing the mistress for marriage wrecking.

Some couples even do a deal, where one of them has sex with a rich person, and then they can pretend he/she wrecked their marriage and sue them.

I do not see the point of making marriage wreckers pay because if people love each other they are going to continue their affair.

Magadi has to be stopped as people have turned marriage into a business.

BANANA MUNYUNDA, 38, MAUN

Marriage wrecking a concern
Banana Munyunda

The reasons behind marriage wrecking are that most people get married before studying their spouses.

Others, when they learn that their partner is a drunkard who likes girls, they get hurt and end up cheating to avoid stress and to satisfy themselves.

Some marry ugly, old men looking at their money; from there they want better partners who can excite and sexually satisfy them.

The idea of paying for wrecking your marriage is a waste of time because that money ends up coming from your boyfriend.

He can end up getting a loan to help his concubine and that in itself is going to make their love stronger because they think ‘we’ve already paid so let us continue.’

The best solution is prison. Let the marriage wreckers be imprisoned – that is the only way they will learn and not repeat their actions!

ROBERT NFILA, 72, ZWENSHAMBE VILLAGE

Marriage wrecking a concern
Robert Nfila

Some people’s hearts are always admiring and they eventually end up chasing what they desire, forgetting they have a family.

Someone can decide to cheat because they are not treated well at home, like when the woman is talkative or the husband is a bully.

Some cheat because they are not getting enough sex at home.

This idea of suing marriage wreckers doesn’t work.

If a man or woman is yours she will be yours – if not then you should just let the relationship go.

Suing is not the solution but petrol added to the fire.