Home Youth Affairs IT’S ALL A CYCLE

IT’S ALL A CYCLE

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Since after writing on why men and women cheat, I’ve received at least five emails and messages from young ladies telling me about how they want to dump their boyfriends for cheating on them.

Two of the ladies stated that the cheating was a frequent thing and that they couldn’t take it anymore and my response to them was that if they felt they couldn’t take it any longer, then they should do what is right for them and leave the relationship because clearly they were in constant pain. However, with the rest, I gave them an unusual response, I even surprised myself with the advice that I gave because I never thought that I’d one day say that to anyone.

I told them that I think they shouldn’t leave the relationship but however they should not put their life on hold for the cheating boyfriend. You know when you are younger, say maybe 16, 18, 20 and haven’t experienced what is called heartbreak, you tend to have this independent and strong mentality approach to relationships. You’ll be there saying that if your boyfriend/man or husband cheats on you, ebile ga o lebe morago (you get up and leave with no hesitation).

Well, I think this shows how powerful and firm you aspire to be but really guys, once you get a bit older and experience such things, believe me when I say that you will have a totally different perspective, and  you would have realized that what you used to think isn’t reality, it’s just a fantasy. I mean I used to think the same, my sister can testify to that, but know, as I get older, mature and experience certain things, you wonder what happened to you.

We all know that about 85% of guys and men will cheat in a relationship, it’s unfortunate but it’s reality ladies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all suggesting that we stay in relationships where the guy constantly cheats. Obviously you should not stand for this because it’ll be evident that the guy isn’t taking you seriously. But then again think about this, if a guy cheats on you once then you leave the relationship, how many guys are you going to go through? How many ex’s are you going to have till you get married? I tell by the time your big day comes, every guy in the church including the pastor marrying you would be your ex!
I’ve been having constant talks with my sisters and cousin about such things, and they felt the need to talk to me since I’m a little older and much more mature, yep, yours truly is soon to enter adult life. Anyhow I was told that in any relationship or marriage, the roof of the house will always have leaks here and there it just depends on the intensity and the number of holes on the roof.

Now this means that in every relationship there are problems, your man might be a cheating, he might not cheat but be addicted to porn, he might lack compassion, he might be irresponsible in every sense but not cheat on you. There’s just some deviation that you have deal with… That’s just how it is… And my cousin told me that before finding “The One”, you should have cried at least thrice!
And then if you really love your partner and you know they love you too just that they are going through some stage in their life, then you let them be.

Wait for them outside the relationship, just don’t put your life on hold, move on knowing that what your match will soon come to their senses and come back to where they belong. Believe me, they do come back sooner or later.

5 COMMENTS

  1. How old are you again, 20? 85% of men cheat? God! Anyway, there is so much truth there but that statistics is mind boggling! Boys, get a grip! What’s the cheating rate for girls?

  2. I think the only reason a person shud attempt to stay is if the partner shows serious remorse and works to rebuild the trust eseng mo go tweng ke tla reng?

  3. i think the statistics have changed…this days a lot of women do cheat…..at the end of the day the issue is not who cheat the most but how disgracing that you find people going around sleeping with people when they dont even know their status!trust me when i say this,Batswana we are going to perish ke HIV if we keep going the way we are….to both men and women!

  4. Tshepo dear, next time please reference your sources.. 85% meaning of men in Botswana, Africa or the world.