Real lives: sexuality
By Joy Chikura
A 23 year old man who has since childhood been mistaken for a girl and eventually a woman has gone public declaring that he is a real man with proper male organs.
Oteng Tollin Matsemela from Tsetsebjwe village but currently staying in Mmadunyane said while he appreciates that he has a soft voice like a woman and carries himself like one, it was disturbing him that people think he is gay.
“Some people think I am woman trapped in man’s body but I believe that I am a pure man. I don’t have feelings for other men and I have only been involved with women though at the moment I am single. I have nothing against gay people but I am not one of them,’’ said Matsemela who was rather reluctant to disclose that he was no longer a virgin.
Due to the feminine way which he carries himself Oteng revealed an incident where a man chased him thinking that he was woman.
“Last year, while at a bar I was approached by a Motswana gentleman of about 30 years. When I went outside he called me and held me by the hand and said he loved me! I immediately explained to him that I am not a woman. He was so ashamed and quickly apologised for mistaking me for a lady”, revealed Oteng, who spotted polished fingernails while occasionally drinking Barons (gin and tonic)
For as long as he can remember Matsemela says he has led a life of torture and ridicule as people always sneer, point fingers at how he walks.
“When am walking with my sisters in the village, people pass remarks saying here come the girls! They even say my facial features resemble that of swanky lass. When I speak they say ke yae chenyepa like a woman.
This annoys me and the sad thing is that even my own mother agrees with them that I behave like a girl. She says the way I talk and carry myself around is not like a man and she wants me to stop the queerbehaviour and be manly,’’ giggled Oteng despite saying what people thought of him was annoying.
“Fine I may gesture like a woman and not have a deep voice like other men of my age, but that does not make me a female or that there is something wrong with me.
“I don’t yearn to be a woman, I see myself as a man, and I hang around with male friends and a few female friends here and there. Most of my friends are men like me. My best friend is a man known as Obakeng we grew up together and we are very tight. We can even share a bed! But not as woman and a man of course”, he revealed adding that he is sometimes tempted to fight back when people him tease about being a woman.
Matsemela said he approached the Voice to assist him to set the record straight because rumour mongers were fuelling gossip that he is not a normal man.
“I have my full male organs in case people think otherwise,’’ he said.
He disclosed that he has had two relationships with girls.
“My first girlfriend was Omphetsea girl from herein Mmadunyane , but she relocated to Gaborone sometime last year and I have not seen her since. Even back home I had a girlfriend, although she is also in Gaborone now we still keep in touch”, said Oteng revealing that he is comfortable with doing any chores at home or going to the cattle post like other men.
Matsemela disclosed that he is a member of the Zion Christian Church and is passionate about his religion.
“I see myself marrying a woman of my choice and having a family of my own some day. All this talk about me being a woman is people who are pressurizing me into homosexuality but I won’t give it,’’ he said with a serious look as if trying to drive his point home.