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The use of sex toys

A 17-year-old American singer and television star ruffled feathers in her home country recently when she revealed that she was ‘into’ sex toys.

Taylor Momsen’s admission that she used a vibrator caused an outcry amongst many religious leaders, saying that she was a bad role model for young girls, and was doomed to failure. But the youngster had the backing of her father who said: “Most of us don’t really like to think about our kids’ sex lives, but seriously, isn’t using a vibrator much preferable to the alternatives?”

Instead of being a failure the opposite is more likely to be true as girls who use a vibrator are less likely to get pregnant, or get a disease, and are more likely to wait to have actual sexual intercourse.

They are also much more likely to learn how their bodies work, so when they do have sex they can fully appreciate the pleasures it can bring.

Although it’s not a common topic from the pulpit, most people accept that young boys masturbate. It’s discussed in movies and alluded to in pop songs, but somehow the thought of girls having a “need for release” is naughty and wrong and shouldn’t be discussed.

The fact is, scientific studies show that having an orgasm has many health benefits, and repressing these needs may be physically harmful. Most young men can’t suppress them, as they will have nocternal emissions if they refrain too long from masturbation.

For girls it’s a little different, and much more troubling. The frustration and the lust build up and the need for release can push them to do foolish things. But if a girl knows she can please herself, and she does it regularly, the urge to be with a guy won’t be as strong, and she can be more rational when choosing her sex partners.

A sex toy is an object or device that is primarily used to facilitate human sexual pleasure. The most popular sex toys are designed to resemble human genitals and may be vibrating or non-vibrating

These devices with the vibrator being the most common, are now very common in first world countries and are gaining popularity in neighbouring South Africa, where they are openly sold, although restricted to over-18’s.

Coming closer to home these devices still seem to be shrouded in secrecy, with many assuming that they are actually banned in Botswana. Traditionally sex is not something that is openly talked about, so there is little discussion on the topic.

The advantages of sex toys as health aids in a country ravaged by HIV are obvious, so it would be wrong to see them as a bad influence. Getting clarification of the legal situation proved problematic, as neither the Ministry of Trade nor the Department of Customs seemed to have a policy on the matter, despite reports that sex toys have been confiscated at the border.

When pressed on the matter, police spokesman Christopher Mbulawa confirmed that it was not an offence to be in possession of sex toys, but was not sure about the position regarding the sale of such items.

Medically these devices have no harmful side effects if used properly and are ‘not abused.’ Confirming this Doctor William Bethuel of Jobert

Medical Centre in Mochudi added: “In this era of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, sex toys could be a better option.’’ However according to pastor John Phillip of the Independent Assemblies of Botswana, sex toys should never be encouraged in Botswana as they go against the norms and values of our society.

“Botswana has been influenced by other foreign cultures and we must not allow this one of sex toys to come into our lives,’’ he said.

As a man of the cloth, Pastor Phillip says he believes in marriage, as it is an institution where natural sex should be enjoyed and thus should be encouraged instead of using sex toys.

“ Human beings tend to easily get attached to something and the moment we encourage these sex toys people might get attached to them, something which might make it difficult for people to get close to each other,’’ he said.

Some benefits of sex toys:

  • You can’t get Aids or pregnant from a sex toy.
  • Unlike many males, they don’t stop when they’ve had enough, only when the battery runs out.
  • There’s no disputing that orgasms feel good, and sex toys help you have better, stronger, longer orgasms.
  • Sex Toys are fun and can and can add a bit of zest to a relationship and keep things from getting dull. Using a sex toy together can bring you closer, and sharing new experiences together can be very intimate.
  • Sex Toys Make Sex Better as many women have difficulty achieving orgasms unless they receive clitoral stimulation, which can be difficult to manage during intercourse. Also, many men have trouble sustaining their erections as long as they would like. Sex toys can help in both of those situations. They can also enhance a perfectly good lovemaking session, adding just enough “oomph” to turn a great experience into an outstanding one.



  1. That’s one irresponsible father! He’s actually allowing this immorality!
    This is a very serious problem. It may look innocent and all but there will come a time when she’ll want the real thing and is likely never to stop. There are many examples of women who started like this and ended up dying before their time. Her lack of self control will eventually lead to addiction, then depression, drugs and inevitable death. Americans truly are a sexually perverted nation.
    The Pastor is absolutely right!

  2. Get over yourself chalemagne! people like you always think they got their morality sorted out, but by the way you have made judgement in your response, you might need to work on yourself a whole bunch, so see a shrink. We’ve made sex so taboo, yet there are sooo many single parents in Botswana , so much adultry, passion killings among others. A young woman giving herself a little pleasure should not leave you so worked up.

  3. Very good article! I believe that one of the reasons people are unfaithful is precisely that we are clueless about intimacy and how to make it fun and interesting with the person we are in a relationship with! This opens the door to HIV and other STI’s, as well as jealousy that many a times leads to the likes of passion killings! Batswana just need to be honest about issues of sex! Only then shall we curb the spread of HIV! We should come out of our shell with the solemnity and seriousness that this issue requires! Our cultural values are not all bad but many keep us embarassingly ignorant about issues like this that when not proprerly approached lead to disaster, not just for a person but the entire community too! Even when we see the difference between us and communities that are mature about issues like this, such as lower HIV rates in these nations compared to us, we still want to bury our heads in the sand! It wont work, ever! Come on now!

  4. Poor Charlemange! For a 17 year old, you are doing really well but you have a lot to learn! Here is a piece of advice; express your views but be open minded! People are different and their different believes don’t make them evil! Don’t be too emotionally involved when discussing things either! Remember that one-size-fits all policy or principle never works!

  5. Lets have a closer look at this topic then.

    *Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of oneself, usually while having sexual fantasies. Even though we don’t have it written in black and white that masturbation is bad in the Bible, it is clearly evident that God does not support and act that is flesh, imaginable, immoral, destructive and those things that are not of good report – Phil.4:8.

    *Masturbation is a demonic power placed on people by the devil. It is sometime an uncontrollable will of either a young man or woman.

    *Sexual sin is destructive, even when the effects are not immediately apparent.
    * Impure thoughts associated with masturbation can lead also to impure actions.

    Some people engage in masturbation under the pretext of the fact that as long as they are not in the real act it does not matter. This is not correct. Based on what I have discussed above, masturbation is not a natural thing. See what I Cor. 10:23 says: “Everything is permissible” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible ” – but not everything is constructive”. In this context, can you proudly say in the midst of comrades that you masturbate?

    When a person is masturbating – the process is imagination. What are you imagining? Imagining that you are having fun with a man or a woman who’s not visible?

    Now that we have looked at it closely, you decide if it is bad or good.

    @Chris M
    Why does my age concern you? Is it because my moral judgement surpasses yours?
    @King L
    What is your problem… apart from being a sexually perverted ignoramus?

  6. I aint advicing u try it Cha-hueva,but keeping in mind and heart that sex is the base of all relationships–if u aint ready to get urself into a hasty galfrend-boyfrend stuff but ur with desires needing to get satisfaction(dildos are the way)mastubation is good and that, u have to try without using that pink artifact displayed above

  7. @Le-Rat
    You do realise that siblings too are in a relationship. So, your statement is irrational to an extent. Love, not sex, is the base of all relationships.

  8. God, Charlemagne! You think you can judge people’s moral compass by their comments here? You are so wrong! The truth is that the use of toys for those who can’t control themselves is far safer than going out there to have sex with anyone! Does that make them evil people? No human being is in a position to know with absolute certainty how God passes his judgement on people! God made all these edges with their hormonal drive! Even though we should not fail to control ourselves, are you or anyone in a position to pass judgement on these people? Come on!

  9. 17 year old,Charlemange! U are still young to understand lot of things man.Ke gore o kare o katse fela, kana fa go fodugwa e tsengwa mo kgetsing gore e seka ya bona ko e tswang teng jaanong le wena kerekenyana eo e go phuthetse ya go tseela le psychology.Ths people use toys for practice &its Ok 4 them if they don’t become addicted NB:addiction in use of toys or masturbation is Bad.Being a V has clouded your judgement though,maybe you want people to be like you.

  10. @Darvo
    What planet do you live on? I’m still too young to understand such a simple concept such as masturbation? Are you demented? Primary school kids even know about it! I’m not a pre-school kid you know! Being a pervert has clouded your judgement. Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
    I certainly understand more about it than you and your comrades will ever understand about it!

    @Chris M
    ”God made all these edges with their hormonal drive!”
    Since when are you a believer. Yes, God made then but does that mean they should control us effortlessly?

    ”The truth is that the use of toys for those who can’t control themselves is far safer than going out there to have sex with anyone”
    You are wrong. Because masturbation is so subtle, it’s effects can manifest unnoticed.

    Here are some more facts about it, from a neutral perspective:
    -Frequent masturbation is now linked to increased prostate cancer risk in young males (within their 20’s) by as much as 79%.
    -It is highly addictive.
    -It is sometimes accompanied by pornography, which has been shown to reduce or hamper intimacy with others as well as a conscious tendency to objectify women. If you decide to have a steady girlfriend or boyfriend, get married this may be a roadblock.
    -It lowers libido.
    -It causes sexual imbalance
    The sexual imbalance can also affect other areas of our lives by diverting energy, time and resources into sexual activity. For example, a man stays up late each night to surf for porn to masturbate to. His job performance suffers because he can’t stay awake during the day, his family life sours because he’s grouchy, his wife is alienated from him by his lack of affection and interest in her, and his debt increases because of the credit card charges from the porn sites he’s visiting to feed his habit.

  11. @Chris M
    As Christians, there is a righteous kind of judgement that we have to exercise. When Jesus told us not to judge, he meant hypocritically. Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. What I am doing is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person.

  12. @Chris M
    As Christians, there is a righteous kind of judgement that we have to exercise. When Jesus told us not to judge, he meant hypocritically. Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. What I am doing is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person. That’s that.

  13. Charlemagne, what makes you think I’m not a believer?! Loss of libido and erectyle dysfuntion do happen for varous reasons but not from sexual activity itself! Just because some of us have no hang-ups talking about sexual issues does not make us evil or unbelievers or mean that we do bad things! No one should pass judgemnet on people or jump to wrong conclusions about them based just on their input on a subject like this! Here, people are not lookig at this just from religious view point! This is not just an issue for religion! Just read how nasty you are to other bloggers when they don’t agree with you! What conclusion should they draw from that? You don’t have to like what people’s views are but toy users won’t get HIV or any STI from unshared toys! Yes, sex, the organs involved in it and the hormones are made by God! There is therefore nothing wrong talking about it and being honest! What is unaccepatble is the wrong attitude to it just like wrong attitude to other things like gluttony being sinful forexample! Do you doubt that the use of toys in some marriages has kept people together, maintained fidelity and therefore saved their lives? Like it or not, they have a role to play in human life and relations! If Catholic priests were allowed to marry, I doubt many would be abusing children like they do! They are being asked to go against their natural inclinations of sexual expression before the can do what they love, being priests! Hence forced to commit sin!

  14. @Chris M
    ”Loss of libido and erectyle dysfuntion do happen for varous reasons but not from sexual activity itself!”
    Get your facts right.
    I agree that I may have gone overboard in some of my reactions, but that’s a natural reaction to insult and I’m just telling them the truth. Read some of them and see for yourself. Catholics? They’re just one of many denominations who choose to serve God but not follow the Bible. That’s the main reason they sometimes go to loggerheads with other denominations about concepts such as immaculate conception and prolonged celibacy. I have explained before that as Christians, we should help people know what is wrong and what is right. Doing activities such as this does not make you evil but it makes you immoral and unclean. Masturbation is an act of the mind like I’ve said before. Masturbation is self centered as one only wants pleasure for him/herself. This is bad as when you finally get into a relationship, you will only objectify your partner. You will only see him/her as a pleasure tool and they won’t feel loved. Read the facts I wrote about it and reconsider. Our inputs in a this issue are vital as other people out there are struggling with this addiction and want to break free. As a believer we must help them break free by simply stating the facts and show them that they will miss their God given destiny. As a believer you should know that a way which seems good to a man leads to destruction. As a believer, you should know that being a lover of pleasure will lead you to ruin. At the end of the day your choice will determine your future. I suggest you read a few testimonies of some people who have done this and have regrets.

  15. If the use of vibrator is cool lets then both of us resort to it, nna le gale ke rata nature o hemela just on the neck of your partner.

  16. Hey guys lets jst du thins da natural way,ths toys cn b addictv 2 an extnd whr ths teengr compltly loses intrst in men,as mch as wev bin givn chnce liv,lets gv life 2,n ths is nt possbl thru toys guys!ga ke kgobe ope,its my point of view.