Home Ask Gase Does age difference matter?

Does age difference matter?

3851
0

I’m a lady of 24 and in love with a man aged 40.

We are happy together and even my parents and siblings have accepted him.

We are planning to get married but some of my friends say he’s too old for me.

I don’t think age matters in love as long as we’re both mature and happy, or does it?

GASE SAYS

Listen to your heart and mind, not to your friends; it is your life, not theirs. If the two of you love each other enough to get married and believe you will be happy together, who are your friends to tell you otherwise?

By all means go ahead and marry him, especially as you’re fortunate to have the support of your parents and siblings…so, never mind what your friends think!

However, there are some very important things that you need to discuss with your man before you get married, such as differences due to personality and age. For example, perhaps he’s laid back because of his personality and/or mellowed because of his age…while you, on the other hand, may still be at that phase where you want to go out regularly and party with your friends, because of your own personality and age.

This is something that could potentially cause problems in your relationship if you do not discuss it and find common ground.

This is just one example of many; you two need to talk frankly about everything that may pose problems for your happy union, and get those out of the way or to at least be aware that you may encounter such obstacles, so that when you do experience them you’ll both be prepared to deal with the situation. Some couples have gone into marriage not fully prepared and have paid the price for that mistake.

When people are blinded by love they sometimes rush into marriage before they lay the foundation for a solid union.

These things do happen…a lot…and if you two do not have a serious discussion about money issues, intimacy, step-children if any, relationships with in-laws, differences in age, hobbies, friends, and many other issues that need to be discussed before you tie the knot, then your marriage may not survive in today’s high-pressure, high-tension world which is so full of challenges even from the most unlikely of places. Marriage is a very big step and rule number one for any couple that wants to get married is prepare, prepare and prepare! This rule applies not only to those with a wide age gap but to all who are planning get married, as couples may experience challenges from various angles, such as differences in upbringing, education, values, cultural background, etc.

I advise that the two of you go for pre-marital counselling to help you prepare for your marriage. Once more, I say do what is right for you, not for your friends.

If it feels right to marry this man, marry him regardless of what your friends say, as long as you have both taken the necessary steps to prepare yourselves for the life ahead.