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CAUGHT IN BETWEEN

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A few days back I received an email from one of the very loyal readers of this column.

This young man is very upset with his mother because he thinks that she is using him to get money from his father who walked out on them when he was only a few months old.Now the young man stated in his mail that he was raised by his single mother for the first 14 years of his life.

As he grew older, he insisted on finding his long lost father and fortunately found him. The two have since developed a father and son relationship that the boy always dreamt of. The boy is now 20 years and his father has been financially and emotionally supporting him ever since the day they met, the father sends money monthly and makes sure that his son has everything that he needs.

You would think that everything would be all fine right, I mean, the mother no longer has the burden to care for her son alone as if there was no father, the father and son have a wonderful relationship, and most importantly, the father is there for the boy both financially and emotionally. So really, where could the problem possible be?

Well, the young man wrote that his mother is very demanding and that she asks for far too much from her son’s father. Apparently the money that the father sends for the boy is thousands more than what the boy needs. It gets to a point where the mother demands that the boy lies to the father about a school trip that is to take place, some expensive gadget that the boy wants even if he already has it or even expensive shoes that the boy does not even like.

These tricks are all done to make the father pop out money and well the young man obviously has had enough of being used by his own mother.I then asked him if his father didn’t have the slightest idea that he was being used and he said that the father doesn’t realize it because he feels guilty for walking out on his son and the mother and marrying a much more younger lady.  The boy is also doing really well at school so the old man doesn’t have a problem with popping out the money.

Now the young man did state that he has talked to the mother about the matter on countless occasions and the mother gets upset every time and tells the boy that she went through hell when she was left alone with him as a new born. So in the end the boy is left with no choice but to do as the mother says.
I then asked my sister if such things happen and to my surprise I was told that some women actually do this which is not right at all. However, from what the mother of this young man had to go through and had to sacrifice, do you think she has the right to do this and use her son in that way… Help this guy, what is he to do… Tell the father or just continue what the mother asks him to do and allow to be used?

5 COMMENTS

  1. Young man dont tell your father rather try by all means to talk to your mom to stop what she is doing. It doesnt matter wat she went through…i know it was tough but let her embrace wat is happening now.

    Tel her to try to forgive and forget otherwise she will ruin everything even your future. Sometimes what happen in our lives it happens for a reason, to prepare us for the future

  2. aish advice that lady to get a loan ka that guy for not maintaining the child for 20 years ba tlaa culculata ba lekgotla.kana a nne careful tht guy might also wanting to give her another baby and run away.le lona le rata madi kwa motho ogo latlhile ka ngwana kwa o sentse o batla madi a gage 1 mistake o jelwe remember he is married watch out madi ao o a kgobokantse le mosadi wa gagwe wena o a tsaya ka back door.

  3. Moratwa May 28, 2012
    Young man dont tell your father rather try by all means to talk to your mom to stop what she is doing. It doesnt matter wat she went through…i know it was tough but let her embrace wat is happening now.

    Tel her to try to forgive and forget otherwise she will ruin everything even your future. Sometimes what happen in our lives it happens for a reason, to prepare us for the future

    @tshek

    moratwa waitse fela gore go dingalo thats why o bona le ene monna yo a buile o batla mnyakazo mo xGF ya gagwe ke tsa bone bale two gaa kake a motima madi a mo diretse ngwana wa mosimane a moneele dipabi tseo ngwaneetsho ga rena go tlhola re e utlwa mo the voice.

  4. Go nna pelo tshetlha ke dingalo hela waitse!Kemo a kabo a itumelela gore ga a sokole jaaka pele jaanong o duedisa ngwaga tse di fitileng ka force!O tsenya ngwana mokgwa hela o sa siamamg, ke go itshenyetsa ngwana hela waitse!

  5. The boy is no longer a teenager or a child,he should man up and raise his voice to his mom.Molemo wa kgang kego bua,,He should tel his mum the .filling and if mum not complying he should then start refusing to go get t he money because if anycase if he gets to tel his father it is gona be like he ignited the dispute i between t he parents.O pale mona oh