Hi, I am a young lady of 26 years; I have been dating a guy for three years now, but since June our relationship is sinking.
There is no more happiness; we’re happy for a day and the following day we start to shout at each other.
The problem is my boyfriend doesn’t want me to complain about things that don’t make me happy; if I complain we end up shouting to the extent that he ends up not talking to me or taking my calls, until I beg and beg him…and that’s when he’ll start talking to me.
I am really scared, I don’t want to lose him but the tension which sometimes comes between us is too much.
I love him so much and even he knows that I love him and I will do anything to make this work but these days I am falling.
It’s like he is not willing to meet me half way; it’s like he doesn’t care anymore…its like he is waiting for the day that we will part ways.
I really hate to think that he is seeing someone else; I don’t know what could be the problem.
I am really scared, I don’t want to lose him; I love him so much.
We used to be the best couple ever; we used to be more than lovers…we used to be best friends…we used to be like brother and sister.
What should I do?
It sounds to me like your relationship with this guy is about to hit rock bottom.
Certainly, something has changed…a lot has changed…and as you’ve already realized, all this shouting at each other is just no good because of the tension that it brings between the two of you.
Please sit your man down and discuss this issue; it’s the only way you’re going to solve your problem.
You have your suspicions that he doesn’t care anymore and may just be waiting for the break-up to happen.
Well, from what you’ve written it seems you’re not far from the truth at all…seeing as you’re always the one who has to run after him and do all the begging after every shouting match.
Did you ever ask yourself why he doesn’t seem to care as much as you do?
If you haven’t, then you should, because that’s where your answer lies.
You say you love him and he knows it, but can you say the same about him; does he love you and can you say without any hesitation that you know he loves you?
If you can’t answer ‘yes’ to that question, then mo matter how much you love him and no matter what you do to make your relationship work, you will not succeed because it’ll be a one-sided relationship.
It seems to me that right now you’re in this relationship by yourself; he’s just there but not really in it with you.
There’s no point in speculating that he may have found someone else, feeling scared and tormenting yourself with such thoughts.
You’ll only stress yourself and make matters worse because when the stress gets to you, chances are you’re going to shout at each other even more.
Like I said, the only way you’re going to get to the bottom of the matter is through communication.
You need to bring to his attention how you feel about all that is happening between you two, and allow him to also express his own feelings about the situation.
Maybe, just maybe, your relationship can be saved and restored to its former state.
You will both need to be open and honest when you have your discussion so that you can each get to understand and appreciate each other’s views on the issue.
It is only when you do this that you can find a way forward.
I hope that you’ll be able to fix things and get back to being the couple that you were before; however, be prepared for disappointment in the event that he’s no longer interested in taking the relationship further.
Seek counseling if you cannot solve the problem by yourselves.