DUBANI-WA- DUBANI found two ladies leaning on a Toyota Land Cruiser at a bus stop in Monarch, Francistown having an intriguing discussion on marriage, husbands, children and lovers. Below is how the conversation went.
SKIMPY SKIRT: Girl, marriage has really made you tough. The way you drive this car one would think you are a man. I wonder what happened to the shy young girl who used to be afraid that trucks on the road would squash her VW beetle and turn her into mincemeat.
BLUE BEANIE: I am not driving this truck out of choice. My husband prefers that I use it instead of the BMW whenever I go out alone. In fact it’s been like that for over seven years now.
SKIMPY SKIRT: I do not understand why he would do that
BLUE BEANIE: He has not said it in so many words but I know he thinks I will use the BMW to entice younger or better looking men than him.
Believe me my husband is no longer the same loving and all caring man I married. He has turned into a jealous and negligent animal.
Were it not for our two children and my vows to God I would have divorced him years ago.
SKIMPY SKIRT: Why does he have to think like that? Has he caught you with a le-14?
BLUE BEANIE: No, he is the one who uses the BMW as a hoochie magnet to lure ma-14 and I guess he thinks I would do likewise.
He seemed to have no interest in any other woman until he started going to the gym after the birth of our now nine year old son. He said the gym was to help him deal with the stress of his job and improve his fitness too since he no longer plays football.
I am a housewife as you know and I could not fi nd time to accompany him to the gym. I had to worry about what he and the kids had to eat for supper. Then he started coming home very late saying he was having meetings after gym.
I believed him until I found a packet of condoms in the car which he said was probably left there by a naughty passenger.
SKIMPY SKIRT: Am I hearing you properly? Not Joe. I just can’t believe it.
BLUE BEANIE: It’s true. We have not shared a bed for maybe two years now. I laugh when people say to me I am happily married. I wish they could see inside our four walls. To tell you the truth I am living with him just for the sake of my children and my vows. I am Catholic you know.
SKIMPY SKIRT: You say he has not touched you for two years? How do you…?
BLUE BEANIE: (interrupting) I have a young lover who seems to get turned on by me driving a Land Cruiser. And believe me the young man can cruise real good in bed. And now I am also thinking of going to the gym.
They both laugh loudly and I leave them laughing as I catch my kombi home.