Be Careful What You Wish For
THE RONETTES: oldies… but you could do worse

A man rubbed a bottle and a genie came out.

“Okay, said the genie, what’s your wish?”

The man said he wanted every woman in the world to love him… so the genie turned him into a chocolate bar.

I hate it when things like that happen to me.

No, I have never been a piece of chocolate, and a genie has never offered to grant me a wish.

I have, however, had a few requests fulfilled and then realised I should have chosen my words more carefully… or just kept my mouth shut.

The most recent example of that occurred last week while my partner and I were eating dinner in a rural English hotel.

The food was excellent but the music was irritating. It was a steady diet of Motown and disco with a liberal sprinkling of early 60s girl-group tear-jerkers.

You know, The Shangri-La’s, The Ronettes, The Shirelles. Stuff like, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and, Leader of the Pack.

When the manager came to the table at the end of our meal to ask about our dining experience, we said we were very happy with the food but we would be even happier if he could change the music.

As he nipped off to the office, I started to worry.

“What kind of music do you suppose he thinks we want to hear?” I asked Sal.

I am 61 and she is 58, but we don’t see ourselves as over the hill yet, so it was a frightening question and we realised we had left ourselves far too exposed.

While we waited for the manager’s verdict, we ordered a couple of whiskies, hoping we might be able to drink them as a celebration of the impression we had made on the well-spoken, well-dressed and, up to that point, very likable young man.

When, The Carpenters came on, however, it felt like the little git had hammered a nail through our egos and we downed our drinks to drown our sorrows instead.

Yes, we did ask for Harry Manx by name after that, but the damage had been done.

There are three possible points to this tale.

The first could be that change is not always for the better; the second could be that ignorance can be bliss… especially when it concerns how others see us, and the third could be that we need to be very care about the way we word our requests.

During their 50th wedding anniversary celebration, a fairy visited a 75-year old couple.

“Because you have been so loving to each other all these years, I would like to give you each one wish,” she said

The wife quickly responded, “I want to travel around the world.”

The fairy waved her wand and POOF, the woman had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband’s turn.

He paused for a moment, then said lovingly, “I’d like my wife to be 20 years younger than me.”

The fairy picked up her wand, waved it, and in a flash, he was 95.

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