Hi Gase…I need your help; my boyfriend and I have been together for eight months and when we are together all he thinks of is sex yet he can’t even buy me sanitary pads or a bar of soap.
When I talk to him about that he I’ll say “Basadi baisitse madi ko Pele gona le lerato” (women are after money rather than love); please help me.
Perhaps it’s a wake-up call for you to start looking for ways to earn your own money and buy yourself whatever you need rather than depend on a man to buy you even the most basic of things such as sanitary pads.
However, that is not to say you should not voice out your concerns or ask for his support (including financial) whenever you need it.
You need to remember this though…you can ask him for financial assistance or for him to buy you what you need, but you have no right to demand that he spend his money on you unless you two agreed from the onset that yours is a ‘relationship’ based on transactional sex.
That said, it’s common knowledge that there are men who are out to use women for sex, under the guise of ‘love’, therefore one has to be on the alert and not end up in the hands of such men.
I suggest you find a suitable time when you’re both relaxed and talk to him about this issue again; this time around, do not allow him to dismiss your concerns with a stereotype about women.
Not all women are gold diggers! If he does not want to listen to and understand your point of view and has nothing better to say than make generalizing statements about women, and he’s not willing to change his attitude to be more accommodating of your needs, then it’ll be up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue dating such a man.
Please seek counseling if you cannot resolve this matter on your own and feel you need further help.