My 9- year wait for the return of my husband
IN NEED OF HELP: Agnes Kgogobi

Deserted wife cries out for divorce

Ten years ago on Christmas Eve, Monsthwari Kgorobi, a husband and father of four, left home to the cattle post to slaughter a goat for Christmas dinner.

To this day Montshwari’s wife, Agnes Kgorobi, 50, is still reeling from the shock of how he deserted the family for good that fateful day without warning.

Speaking out for the first time about the trauma that gripped her when she realized that the man had lied about his cattle post trip when he had actually travelled to Orapa to take up a job as a miner instead, Agnes said, “ I regret the day I married Montshwari. Life with him has been nothing but hell.”

A trained social worker and emotional trauma counselor, Agnes has been so battered emotionally that she can not even use her training to pull herself out of the mess that the 12 -year abusive marriage has plunged her in.

“I desperately need help. I don’t know how to get him to show up and finalise the divorce proceedings he already started. I am also too broke for legal battles, which is why I pray that he would just show up and set me free,” Agnes pleaded.

If she could turn back the hands of time, she would not have taken the decision to dump her then boyfriend who had wanted to marry her, she would not have turned down the government’s offer for her to further her studies and neither would she have quit her job as a social worker in West Hanahai for the sake of marrying a man who would desert the family for no apparent reason.

“I quit my job to come and live with Montshwari because I thought if I stayed closer he would stop womanizing. I had a man who had wanted to marry me, but because his parents disliked me for being older than him, I left him for Montshwari who is also my homeboy,” she explained

Although it did not take long after marriage for Agnes to discover that her beloved homeboy was promiscuous, she was willing to fight for her marriage and fight his several women off she did.

“I was in Gantsi then, working as a social worker and he was working in Jwaneng mine. He had many girlfriends and most of the time when I visited him, I found
them in his house and beat them up. I was always beating someone up,” she confessed with a resigned look.

The husband blamed the cheating on long distance relationship so the dutiful wife quit her job to join hubby in an effort to save the marriage.

“I assumed living together would change him, but boy was I wrong! After marriage he spent nights out with his girlfriend who also worked at the mines. I fought this woman several times. Even in the streets we fought, but he did not stop the affair. He even gave her a ride in my car, which was a gift from my former fiancé.”

Adding salt to injury, she says, was that, her husband’s family did not support their marriage and accused her of bewitching him when he fell ill.

There was however a brief moment when life with Montshwari was sweet.

“ It was when he quit his job in Jwaneng for another job in Lerala in Tswapong area and I took my severance pay from government and he later got his from Jwaneng mine and we bought, a combi which I used as school bus, a truck to sell vegetables, a smaller motor car and a twin cab van.”

That sweet phase however came to an abrupt stop when the mine closed down and the husband came back home to be a sick stay at home husband racking up medical bills.

My 9- year wait for the return of my husband
RUNAWAY HUSBAND: Montswari Kgogobi

“By the time he deserted I had spent almost all family savings, sold one of the cars to pay for his medical bills and when he got better he just left home without saying why! I looked for him everywhere. I feared for the worst, while he was enjoying himself at the Orapa mine. Today I have nothing, almost all our properties have been auctioned because of accumulated debt, school fees and some which he created on the side,” Agnes sobbed as she narrated her ordeal.

She only found out about her husband’s whereabouts in 2014,when his lawyers called about his intended divorce suit.

She then met him and his lawyers to discuss the divorce which she did not contenst.

“I told them I was ready for divorce, but I demanded that he continue maintaining the children. The children are not biologically his, but they were adopted into our marriage and through them he was getting extra benefits from the mine, such as subsidized school fees, a bigger house suitable for a family man but when he refused to provide financial maintenance I told his lawyers that I in turn will therefore keep everything I had before marriage and such property will not be part of the divorce settlement. Since that day I never heard from him and his lawyers again. We are still married although we have not spoken for four years hence my plea for him to come and divorce me or for any merciful lawyer to take up my case pro bono”

Agnes’s estranged husband has however declined to comment on the allegations except to say, “my case is with the lawyers, Agnes knows about it. It is true that she is still my wife.”

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